Every time I’m pitched cauliflower-something by a publicist, an angel loses its wings. It’s like people who vape or get their septum pierced: We get it, it’s a thing, congratulations, but stop telling us about it every day of our lives. Cauliflower crust definitely makes personal pizzas healthier, but it’s similar to those times when I say I’m going on a five-mile jog and am back ten minutes later. The intentions are there, though the self-sabotage is real. So enjoy this pizza however you prefer. If you opt for the surprisingly delicious cauliflower crust below, that’s great! But just know that you’re probably going to top it with processed meat and cheese anyway. It’s pizza, and your diet should be reserved for less amazing things, like dandelion-green salads and cayenne–lemon juice elixirs.