While I’ve always had a way with words, my artistic talents were quite… adorable, a term I frequently use in place of “tragic” or “awful.” But like any basic bitch, I’ve always excelled at crafting and organizing, and charcuterie boards are an excellent way to show off my creativity and obsessive-compulsive personality. Literally everything has a spot around a cheese ball, and the accompanying dips, spreads, pickled vegetables, and finger foods are completely customizable to your preferences. I also set out a bottle of hand sanitizer, because frankly, you don’t know where your friends’ hands have been and it’s not up to your taste buds to find out.
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the cream cheese, feta, Parmesan, garlic, and hot sauce and beat to combine.
Fold in the pimientos, pecans, and 1 tablespoon each of the dill, parsley, and chives.
Taste and season with salt.
Scrape the mixture onto a large piece of plastic wrap and form it into 1 large ball.
Refrigerate to set for at least 1 hour.
Spread the remaining 2 tablespoons of each herb over a baking sheet.
Roll the cheese ball in the herbs to coat, then transfer it to a serving plate.
Serve with your favorite crackers.
Notes / Tips / Wine Advice:
LITERALLY CAN’T EVENIn addition to the crackers, crudités are a great option to serve alongside.JUST THE TIPSNot interested in a single large cheese ball? You could also make 8 balls (2 ounces each) and serve them individually or as an addition to salads.